Pokémon GO causes a stampede in Taiwan
Pokémon GO is the hottest mobile app in the world right now, and the company behind it, Niantic, couldn’t be happy with their augmented reality monster-catcher / assisted suicide device. It’s no news to anyone now that people do some really stupid things for the sake of Pokémon. Bodies have been found, nuclear plants broken into, not to mention the thousands upon thousands of boo-boos caused by not looking where your f-ing going. But it wasn’t until the ultimate destructive cocktail was created out of a crowded Asian city, thousands of Pokémon GO users, and the appearance of a Snorlax. Cue the Pokémon GO Stampede.
The video was first posted by a Pokémon GOer in Taipei, the capital of Taiwan, before it later made it’s way to YouTube. Allegedly there was a Snorlax, so, ya know, they had to go for it.
The stampede took place in Taipei’s Xinbeitou district, a stretch of street reminiscent of a warzone ever since player have found that a large number of exotic Pokémon call the roads and alleys there home. Overcrowding of the area is so intense, that the civil-defense brigade has had to be called in after police reinforcements from neighboring areas proved insufficient.
And this isn’t even the first time there has been a Pokémon GO stampede. Before the denizens of Xinbeitou participated in the Running of the Smart Phones, we had a similar incident in our own backyard. Hundreds of Pokémon GOers rampaged through the streets into New York City’s Central Park in pursuit of a Vaporeon just last month.
There is no point even chastising people. “Watch where your going!” “It’s just a game!” “Pokédopes!” All have fallen on deaf ears. Advice is wasted on the Pokémon GOers, instead let’s look to those we can still save. If you don’t play Pokémon GO, then here are a few tips to help you survive if you ever find yourself mid-stampede.
- Go With the Flow – 90% of all Pokémon GO stampede injuries are the result of trying to fight your way out of the crowd. Instead, keep pace with them and allow yourself to be swept up in flow. Once they stop to catch their target, then try to make your escape.
- Keep Good Form – In the stampede, the last thing you want to do is trip and be and trampled. Keep shoelaces tight, breathe through the nose, and make sure to lift those knees to avoid sudden obstacles.
- Knees and Elbows – Just like basketball, no one is going to want to get near you if you start swinging knees and elbows at passersby. Take as broad a stance as possible and with every step really bring those joints out swinging. This way you will be able to create a safe bubble for yourself amidst the horde.
If you follow these three tips, then maybe, just maybe, you may survive should a Dragonair appear in your area. Good luck to all you non-Pokémon GOers, and god speed.